"I'm sorry." I can pull them forth like a magician pulling a string of coloured knotted scarves out of her fist. I have one for every occasion. Formal, informal; pro forma and full frontal. Sub rosa and infra dig. Don't you?
"I'm sorry." Passive-aggressive: I'm sorry that you feel that way. Purely aggressive: I'm sorry...and you should be too! Sometimes it means I love you, don't leave me. Transatlantic: I'm sorry? as in Pardon? or Say that again, I dare you. Sometimes accusatory: I'm sorry...that you stepped on my foot, you oaf. Sometimes self-loathing: I'm sorry as in I am a sorry state of affairs. We can swap them like Scrabble tiles, pass them like Hearts.
Sometimes it's grief. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, like calling Come back. Stay. Don't. Go away. Don't leave me. Those are all stacked above me, I feel them; they're circling above me in the rainy grey sky like planes piled up waiting to land. If I once started apologising I would never stop.
I am shaking you out of my hair; I am washing you out of my eyes. I am scraping you off the soles of my feet. I am peeling your name off my body. I am lifting the imprints of your hands off me. I will change my sheets and my name and the locks on my door. I am wiping down my room for fingerprints. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. I'm sorry.Labels: no-one in particular, random shit |
Closed/on Hiatus
![Your writing in the other hand [sic] is pure filth and disgusting.](http://www.gotbears.com/gund/sesamestreet/75985.jpg){kind=link}