Emotions are
strings in
the human heart.

 

Dylan Thomas is spinning...

Rage away, sister. It's got to happen, and I'll be reading you.

 

WUT A POST O!!1!111 WTF LOL I 2 MUST WRIET SOMETHNG ABOUT GREIF BUT NOT SURA I CAN YET AND CERTANELEY NOT AS W3L AS U!!1!!!1! OMG LOL TAEK R LS

 

If reading some emotion things don't do it, using that "translator" and reading the results surely will cause one pain!

I love words, sweet, beautiful words, and that thing is like walking into an abattoir after a bombing! Wow.

 

I'll be reading too -- I always am. My response to this post could be summed up as "Yay! Rage on!" Your persona here is not, indeed, an angry one. I confess that there have been times when I read you and thought: Must she be so generous, so selfless, so loving, so patient? Doesn't this ever just PISS HER OFF? Doesn't she ever just want to make Big Jealous Scene?

Now I know. Heh.

 

eros,

Thanks for commenting; I will have to think about that.
best,
O


AAG,

Well, the room was always spinning for DT, (apposite initials), he should feel right at home!
more seriously--thanks, as always. ;)
Kisses,
O

 

My beloved Swain,

oh, you make me laugh!

I've been thinking about you; will write you soon.
much love
O

 

hi debra,
Ha! yes,that thing hurt me. It's definitely just about enough on its own to make you smash some heads....

yrs
O

 

mu ling,

Must she be so generous, so selfless, so loving, so patient?

Wha?-- you just haven't been reading long enough!
Actually this is worrisome to me. Clearly this blog should have a disclaimer then: "objects in blog may be spikier than they appear".

I haven't really made Big Jealous Scene, nor has there technically been any screaming. (I don't like screaming.)Stuff has been hard to write about because--well, grief makes me voiceless. But anger, as those unfortunate to know me can attest, unlocks me.

So there are a few things I've wanted to write about and couldn't. I thought it was because they were painful to me, and there is that. But now i see it's also because they are things that did/do make me angry, and I haven't wanted to admit that. So how could I write it??

In any case, some very bad behaviour will be written about soon.

best
O

 

Oh my dearest sweetest sister, how I wish that my visit to you had coincided with this darkness, so that I could've pulled back the heavy drapes and shown you the bright day outside.

You know my thoughts on all of this, my feelings for you, that I am endlessly here for you, never hurts to see those thoughts in print though.

My love my darling
S xxxx

 

O,
Your posts always leave me with more thouhgts than I can seem to wrap words around and express. I too will be reading. It is nice to hear the click of the lock letting go.

 

I have the same issues with those emotions, I think it is because anger spills out and you can only have so much, but grief spills in and can fill you up.

 

Wonderful and accurate description of these feelings and the way they work... I also prefer rage as it IS action as you say. However, Grief is the only way to have closure in certain circumstances. When hurt, I need to grieve before indulging in rage. If I refuse to give in to grief, sooner or later it catches up with me, and with a vengance. So I try to go though the pain, deal with it and come clean from it, free to be as angry or indiferent as I need to be.

Best of luck, O, you are an amazing writer and person

 

I'm a bit of a sad old punk on the quiet, so I still trust in John Lydon spitting the words: "anger is an energy" at ear-bleeding volume. I need some anger and rage again, I feel.

I am looking forward hugely to the bad behaviour, though ...

 

i absolutely love your title.

sometimes the rage is so much that i get this damn curl on the right hand side of my lip and i am unconscious of this.

these emotions are purely natural, shit i had to start another blog since writing is therapy for me. i had to keep that one hidden since it was so personal to me.

work through it. but know you are an amazing being and i don't say that to just anyone.

*kiss*

 

scarlet baby,

well, we got up to some bad behaviour ourselves when you were here! though i admit, having you here did fend off the darkness for a while longer. Soon again my sister, here or there, or in paris.

love!
O

 

ryder,

i'm afraid i'm hearing the click of a handcuff snapping into place...and not the fun fur covered kind. Time will tell though...

very best,
O

 

Art,
I swear I think that may be the wisest thing I've ever heard. It's exactly like that.
Grief feels like death to me; anger as awful as it is is like fighting to live

love
O

 

cherrycoloured funk,

I think I recognise you still, even through your funk. ;) Good to know you're around...

yrs
O

 

shy and shameless,

You are also much wiser than I. I know it's true, grief not dealt with will catch up with us and then run us over a hundred times...I just keep trying and trying to get away from it all the same. I need to learn how to deal with this...

very best,
O

 

Gracie,

i'm so glad you like the title; it only occurred to me later that Fucking rage might have been better. But that i guess I should save for another post.

i know what you mean about the lip thing...i have been told I exhibit the traces of an irish accent in extreme rage, which I can only attribute to my childhood and the angry people around me. ;) I am completely unconscious of it though.

You're making me blush with the compliments though. I never have learned how to take one gracefully...or, hell, at all.

big hugs,
O

 

O,

Rage, anger and resentment are all very powerful tools to keep us feeling alive when we think that grief will overcome us. I would rather rage at the injustices in the world than have a good cry most days. But a balance of both grief and anger are what make us who we are...

XXXX

alphagirl

 

I love your writing. You write so subtly like a woman. This reminds me of Sappho, or Rage Against the Machine, perhaps an echo of the " The Battle Hymn of the Republic " [...] Or perhaps it's some other Hymn of the Republic, but it would not be surprising, as the same Rage inspires you both.

It's beautiful, and so are you. Thank you.

Love,
B

 

I should introduce you to my wife, who is a mistress of rage when provoked. Also the best make-up sex I know. In any case, your writing is so enlightened and marvelous, please drop by sometime.

 

"Must she be so generous, so selfless, so loving, so patient?

Wha?-- you just haven't been reading long enough!
Actually this is worrisome to me. Clearly this blog should have a disclaimer then: "objects in blog may be spikier than they appear".

I think it was the desire to be like the air that made me see you this way. I understand, or think I do, what you meant when you wrote that. It didn't exactly read like a Woman in Touch with Her Rage, though.

What are you afraid might happen if you really let yourself be angry? What is the worst that could happen?

Just wondering.

 

alphagirl,

You always leave me such intelligent and thoughtful comments; I'm so appreciative of them, and so grateful you read me. (I hope you start your own blog someday soon!)

i think you're right about how rage and anger work...I *know* you're right me need those and grief also...I just havn't managed that trick yet.

Best,
O

 

Oh rage, such a fabulous emotion ... leading to unknown discoveries of our deepest psyches, sometimes a painful journey to get back from ... Hope you are well (sorry for the long absence, TOOO much work) - Hugs - A

 

I'm here, but words are failing me. What I want to do is go find the link that starbender once sent me that rearranged my site into garbled stuff that made it sound like an uneducated redneck. To make you laugh.

I understand the dating rage. I'm with you, my dear.

 

Go here from your site- http://www.gizoogle.com/

 

ROFL

Young love is sweet, isn't it?

 

I haven't come to play in oh so long...but I love the new colour (apologies if it is old already).

Thanks for your comment darling girl...miss you too.

 

Raven, well, that's one of the things it is I guess...Thanks for picking me for your hotlinks, btw. ;)

cheers
O

 

Devil,

i LOVE gizoogle! Thank you...cracks me up!

Love
O

 

Tom Paine,

thanks for the kind words--i like that phrase"misress of rage". I'll be posting the angry sex at some point soon...
Thanks again!
cheers
O

 

Mermie,

Oh I miss you too! we have to catch up and soon. :(

Love always
yr Ollie

 

aragorn,

damn this time of year, I have so much to write you!!! thinking of you though, as always---
love
O

 

Mu Ling,

I think it was the desire to be like the air that made me see you this way.


I said that to him, and it's also a reference to a margaret atwood poem, "variations on the word sleep", as im sure you know. 'that essential, that unnoticed, that necessary'. ..it might look like selfdenial. But who among us wants to be unnoticed, who can bear it? -- it's really about a consuming desire to be the element necessary for his survival. Unnoiticed in the sense only that i wanted my presence to fit around what he already has, to not be disruptive...but inevitably, it has become so.

What are you afraid might happen if you really let yourself be angry? What is the worst that could happen?

--I don't know. It feels like something terrible would happen.