eros, logos: lift

Monday, January 12, 2009

lift

Close the gate. How long will it take, to get to the fifth floor? Too long. But now we can kiss each other at least, as we couldn't earlier. This lift is rickety and old, and it shakes alarmingly when you press me against the back of it and kiss me. I need you. You lift me, my legs around your waist and begin to grind against me, pushing me into the wall. I feel I can't stand it, my head spins. I need your fingers on me, inside me, on my clit. Please touch me there, I know it won't take me long now. Turn me around, I love the helplessness of this position. I can feel your cock pressing against my ass. I brace my hands against the wall and push back at you, leaning into you. I tilt my ass up towards you, pleading wordlessly. One hand slowly slides into my shirt, you trace my nipple with your fingers, rolling it between them. You pull my hair, pulling my head back so that you can kiss my mouth, my throat. I whimper, as your hand leaves my nipple, running down my body, pressing me into you and also caressing me, moving lower...Don't, not here, please. The gate-- Anyone can see... but you do.

I don't want to think, and when this overtakes me I let go. I will fuck you to the edge of exhaustion and beyond, attempt to lose myself in sensual oblivion. Lift me out of myself, is what I would say, if I could speak.

I yearn for this escape from the prison of self, from grief and loss. I want to outrun grief, race it. I would outrun it if I could, even if it meant running til my heart burst.

I won't know where I am when I wake at 4, but your warmth next to me and your breathing will comfort me. I'll lie awake there for awhile listening to the city's beating heart too, muted now late. The cars move through the arteries of the streets. Rain against your window like a breath.

In your sleep you will stir and reach for me, next to you I will sink down again, seeking the oblivion of sleep now.

Darkness outside. Inside, the radio's prayer -
Rockall. Malin. Dogger. Finisterre.
Carol Ann Duffy, Prayer

My wishes now come homeward,
Their gallopings in vain,
Logic and lust are quiet,
Once more it starts to rain.
Falling asleep I listen
To the falling London rain.
Louis MacNiece , London Rain

Labels: 2006, eurydice, london, shipping forecast

posted by O @ 00:18


11 Comments:
At 12 January, 2009, Anonymous said… "I will fuck you to the edge of exhaustion and beyond, attempt to lose myself in sensual oblivion." This sentence so resonanted with me. Having experienced the sensual oblivion of which you speak i can warn you that it is drug-like addictive and all-encompassing... but it's less a warning than a by-the-way.. Once again, your writing takes me by the scruff of the neck and hurls me up to a height of passion that i remember well, and still crave... Sapphire, Elegant Slut At 12 January, 2009, Frequent Traveler said… It feels so lovely to be taken like that, to bond like that, and then to awaken like that... At 13 January, 2009, Unknown said… i am so glad you are back, i found your blog over a year ago and fell in love. thanks for writing again. -k At 13 January, 2009, Anonymous said… hey, glad you're back!! hope you're doing ok :) At 14 January, 2009, Anonymous said… It's still as rickety. And still as small. A few years older. But take the lift late at night and you can at least ride it up and down a few times. :) At 14 January, 2009, Remittance Girl said… As always, your pieces of prose leave me speechless. Brava. At 14 January, 2009, Anonymous said… Beautiful prose... I have some past post digging to do here. At 14 January, 2009, Just Me said… Very, very nice. At 14 January, 2009, A Sinful Affair said… I think I have to agree with your first commenter. with the sensual oblivion....sensual people are the best in bed and by golly how it makes things spark more if both parties are in fll tune with themselves! Super my dear...I will be back! At 15 January, 2009, O said… sapphire, loving annie, I know you know what I'm talking about! :) kansas, Thank you! it's good to be back kermit, Thank you! I hope you're well. RG, coming from you that's high praise indeed. southerngirl, so do I on yours! just me, thanks. asn--welcome! At 15 January, 2009, O said… anon, is that a triple entendre in your comment or are you just happy to see me? xo O
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